Filed under: Madness
In the middle of the night last night, I had a power outage. I overslept because my alarm clock is electric. I got out of bed swearing because it was so bloody cold, the gas central heating needs electric to start it. I couldn’t warm the kids bottles because the microwave wouldn’t work, the hob is electric. Try explaining ‘no electricity’ to a 10 month old hungry boy.
I tried to phone the electricity company, but my house phone is wireless, requires electricity for the base station. My mobile works, but I don’t know who to call. My bills are sent to me digitally, of course. My laptop turns on, because it has a battery, but the wireless router is electric. What next?
I am British, so I decide to make a cup of tea, that always gets me thinking. Bugger. Can’t do that.
I had better wake the wife up.
I ask her who our electric is with, as there is none, and she says ‘Oh, I think it is Eastern Electric. Or Western. No, no, actually, it’s East Western Electric. Or EDF. I’m not being very helpful am I?’ She gets out of bed, and finds a bit of paper in the bottom of some draw somewhere which tells us that we are with Northern Electric. She was close. I call them up at 7.15am, and they are shut, but if we have an emergency, or no power, we need to contact our network supplier, which is clearly stated on the front of the utility bill. Oh, for the love of God.
The 3 year old is trying to turn the telly on for cartoons.
The 10 month old is screaming for warm milk, won’t have the cold stuff out of the rapidly defrosting fridge.
The wife is bleary eyed tying to make a cup of tea. Switching the kettle on and off.
Very rarely do I end up in a situation, where I haven’t got any answers. This morning I was scuppered, because I had no digital connections. So I got on my bike, which doesn’t need electricity, and went to work, where there is electricity, and turned on the laptop, which had power, and got the internet, which was connected, and found all the answers right there, in 2mins flat, and made all the phone calls from work, 61/2 miles away from my house.
It made me realize how helpless and pathetic I am without digital connections.
How the hell did our parents survive, and even bring us up, without digital connections?
What will our kids be asking, when they have the technology they have in 20years time, and look back at us poor troglodytes living in the dark ages?
I need a cup of tea.
Here is something I have been doing at Dare. We have decided that the best way to mark the launch of the Woolworth’s Big Red Book across the UK, is to try and launch Big Red Books across the UK, using a 25ft catapult.
Prizes to be won, and funny sheep puppets to watch if you go here www.bigredbooklaunch.com
Give them a big pen and a big bit of paper and it all goes tits up. Take a bow Dare Senior Planner Jane Hovey.
Filed under: Madness
Thanks to Tony Wilson for making my days in Manchester ’sound’. RIP. His legacy lives on though with a cracking comeback from the Happy Mondays, looking forward to a completely stupid madchester night out when they tour with this one.
Filed under: Madness
The Wife dragged me along to see the little purple fella this weekend, the one who has given his album away, ‘for free’ to all in-sundry. ‘Free’ with the Daily Mail, ‘free’ with every concert ticket bought (although you get it on arrival, as opposed to with ticket delivery – how can you learn the words?!)
So if everything was so ‘free’, how come there are venue police running around trying to stop people take pictures? Do they actually think no one else will go as soon as the piccies are up on the internet?
Was he any good? I would love to say he was amazing, because he should be. He was OK. I did have very good seats though, with direct access to the bar. The trick is, to drink.
Oh, and the official glossy A4, 25 page concert programme, with pictures, was £15 a pop. That might be something to do with it.
The static logo is still crap, it’s that Comic Sans type font what bugs me the most, but the animation is cool, if you haven’t got epilepsy that is.
Apparently Ken Livingston has called on the Olympic Committee to withhold payment from Wolff Olins in light of the epilepsy debacle. Well done Ken. You’re still a twat though.
So the new London, sorry, london 2012 video has been withdrawn because it made people go a bit skew whiff, and not because it is so lame it made them angry, because all the flashing sent people into epileptic fits.
I design sites at Dare, and Dare get paid money to do a job properly, which means I have to check that everything just right, especially for those with disabilities. Surely Wolff Olins could have spent some of the £400,000 they got for asking the GCSE student placement person to quickly knock up a logo that is down with the kids, on checking the video they made to explain the effort produced, wasn’t going to bugger up those with a disability. Just a thought.
By the way, I read in The Times that Ken Livingstone hates the logo. He is still a twat though.
Tessa Jowell said: “This is an iconic brand that sums up what London 2012 is all about – an inclusive, welcoming & diverse Games”. What the Olympic committee has achieved is less iconic than moronic, but it is certainly inclusive. By the looks of all these disparaging comments left on the BBC website, everyone is included in the opinion that this logo is shit.
Our Greater London Authority tax went up by 13.3% last year, and a further 5.3% this year to pay for this debacle. Ken Livingstone thinks that all the money I am paying is a ‘good deal’ for me. I will get nothing from the Olympics, nothing at all, not even a sense of British pride by the looks of this logo, I mean, for the love of God, is that font some sort of funked up Comic Sans?!! It leaves me feeling embarrassed and angry. Ken Livingstone is a twat.
Filed under: Madness
I saw this for sale today, in a shop underneath Barclays headquarters at Canary Wharf, obviously hoping some grossly overpaid futures analyst would snap it up with the loose change in their pockets. It is an original Rolf Harris! I reckon I even saw him knock this up on TV back in 1981, either that or all Rolf Harris work looks the same. I wonder as he was lobbing paint all over a big bit of paper (yes paper, not canvas) he knew that one day in the future it would be touted at £35,000!!!
Don’t get me wrong, I love Rolf Harris, I loved Cartoon Time, between Rolf, and Tony Hart on the art, Jonny Ball on the science, John Craven on the current affairs, and of course the daddy of them all, Big Dave on the nature, I didn’t even need school! Although that argument never did very well with Mum.
But £35,000 for a bit of paper? People will be selling grafitti for hundreds of thousands next!
